Setting Boundaries for Assistants

Let’s start with a question: Are you good at setting boundaries as an Assistant? Here’s an even more critical question: Are you good at setting boundaries, and do you stick to them?

Setting boundaries is crucial for Assistants for several reasons. We work closely with executives who often have long hours and a deep passion for their work. It’s easy for us to be taken for granted.

We perform our jobs so effectively that our executives may come to expect us to be available all the time, relying on us heavily. But setting boundaries is essential in any relationship—whether personal or professional. So, where do we draw the line? How can Assistants establish the right boundaries, stick to them, and most importantly, communicate them effectively?

As Marie Forleo says:

“Machines are built to work 24/7, but not human beings. It’s crucial that we put boundaries in place for ourselves—to have offline time, exercise, sleep, and spend time with loved ones. This is how we balance being effective and productive while staying healthy and sane.”

Assistants need to set boundaries for their health and mental well-being. Let’s explore how to set and maintain those boundaries in a professional setting.

How an Executive Assistant Can Say No Template

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Understanding Your “Why”

To truly commit to setting boundaries, you need to understand your “why.” As Simon Sinek suggests, knowing why you do something and why it’s important to you makes it easier to commit to. Your “why” could be family, friends, health, or overall well-being. When your “why” is tied to something that brings you joy, setting boundaries becomes more manageable.

Where to Start with Setting Boundaries

Time is the most obvious place to start. Time is not infinite, and as Assistants, we need to manage it wisely. Establishing boundaries around how and where we spend our time helps us stay focused and accomplish what we set out to do each day.

Identify Your Non-Negotiables

Start by identifying your non-negotiables. These are the things you prioritize daily. For example, I prioritize quality time with my kids after school, shutting my laptop at 9 PM to spend time with my partner, and making time to read each day. I’m also working on eating better and exercising more.

While conflicts with non-negotiables happen, I strive to stick to these boundaries as much as possible. I also have monthly and yearly non-negotiables, such as taking vacations. What are your non-negotiables? Visualizing these in an “ideal week” structure can help you commit to them.

Equally important is recognizing what you don’t want to spend time on, such as excessive screen time or social media. Setting limits here is just as crucial.

Setting Boundaries Around Work

Setting boundaries at work can be challenging for Assistants. We often juggle numerous “ad-hoc duties” and have executives who rely on us to manage their time effectively. Here’s where to begin:

  1. Understand Expectations: Have conversations early on to clarify what’s expected of you. If you’re already in a role and your boundaries are being compromised, it’s time to discuss this with your executive.

  2. Initiate the Conversation: Your executive might not bring up boundary setting, so it’s on you to assert yourself. During interviews or role discussions, ask about expectations regarding office presence, after-hours communication, and workload culture.

  3. Be Honest About Priorities: Share personal commitments, like leaving on time for a recurring activity. This honesty fosters mutual understanding and helps set clear boundaries.

Compromise and Flexibility

While setting boundaries is essential, so is flexibility. Emergencies happen, and there will be times when you need to adjust your schedule. Flexibility is a trade-off—being adaptable during crises can earn you the right to enforce boundaries when it matters most.

Saying “No” with Confidence

Setting boundaries also means learning to say “no.” Saying no helps you focus on priorities that align with your strategic role and the organization’s goals. For many Assistants, saying no is challenging, but it gets easier with practice.

As Oprah Winfrey says:

“You have to be able to set boundaries. Otherwise, the rest of the world is telling you who you are and what you should be doing. You can still be a nice person and set boundaries.”

Saying no isn’t about being difficult—it’s about protecting your well-being and ensuring you can perform your role effectively.

Establishing healthy boundaries as an Assistant is crucial for developing a successful working relationship with your executive. Clear, well-communicated boundaries help you prioritize your needs and maintain emotional well-being.

Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. When you’re at your best, you can serve others better. If you’re ready to dive deeper into boundary setting and learn more about balancing your professional and personal life, check out our Assistant Mindset Online Course. This course is designed to help you create smarter boundaries and bring more balance to your life.

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Nicky Christmas

I'm Nicky, the Founder and CEO of The EA Campus. Let’s continue the conversation over in our communities.

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